10 July 2008
What’s your sweat quotient?
Posted by Nick Katsarelas under: Nick Katsarelas .
I ran at lunchtime today. I showered, dressed, and returned to my office. It’s been 70 minutes since I finished my run, and I’m still sweating. What’s up with that? Terri DeBoer, Meteorologist, says the humidity is only 65%. (Speaking of Terri DeBoer, I saw Matt Kirkwood, Meteorologist, at a concert at Frederik Meijer Gardens a few weeks. He pretty much looks like he does on the TV.)
At work, they call me Mr. Sweat. Not really. But I know they laugh at me. I hear titters when I walk past people in the hallway. Sometimes I’m playing Scrabulous on Facebook in my office and I hear laughter in another cube and I’m pretty sure I’m the object of their amusement. You know how they say, “We’re laughing with you, not at you”? Don’t believe it. They’re laughing at you. Take my word for it.
Back to sweat. What kind of a sweater are you? I’ve developed at short quiz that will help you determine your sweat quotient.
(“How was your day today, honey?”
“Swell. I took a sweat quiz.”
“Get out! I did, too! Nick’s blog?”
“Yep. That Nick, he’s a real hoot-and-a-half. I was reading his blog, right? and I was, like, LOL.”
“At him, right?”
“Is there any other way?”)
So sharpen your pencils. Read each statement, and indicate whether you would sweat or not in the given scenario.
1. You’ve just finished a two-mile warmup.
2. It’s been 30 minutes since you ran a five-mile tempo run.
3. You paid $325 for a Garmin, and it’s the night before the Bayshore, and you can’t find it.
4. You’re playing Scrabulous on Facebook at work when you should be writing up consumer trends for your product category using data from Yankelovich and Nielsen, and as your boss walks in, she says, “Hope you’re not playing Scrabulous.”
5. You’re watching “Pulp Fiction” with your in-laws.
6. You’re about to give an important PowerPoint presentation to your boss about consumer trends for your product category, and you fire up your computer, and instead of the PowerPoint, it starts running that really hilarious spoof you and your buds made about Tad.
7. Tad’s your boss.
8. Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t.
9. It’s the morning of your wedding, and your fiance admits that he’s quite fond of macrame, libraries give him “the willies,” he’ll watch the “The Wizard of Oz” but has to cover his eyes during “the monkey parts,” and that he once tried to dig to China but burned his hands on the core of the earth.
10. You’re at a party, like a college mixer or maybe a neighborhood gathering or it’s mahjong night with your support group – it really doesn’t matter – and people start making fun of mullets, making jokes and all, and you say, “What kind of a dog is that?”
To determine your sweat quotient, you do something with the number of sweats. Do you divide by 2 or multiply by 2 and then divide by 2 or is it … add 10 or does it have to do with an isosceles triangle? I dunno. I can’t concentrate. I have a shirt that needs wringing out.