20 January 2008
Hope
Posted by Bob Estes under: Bob Estes .
Hope springs eternal or so it’s said. I have been thinking of my future in running. Actually to be more accurate, I have been worrying about the time spent not running. I came to the realization that even though I am injured and cannot currently run, I am blessed that I am still able to function (if not somewhat limitedly) and enjoy life.
I had an MRI done of my lumbar spine Friday January 11th in the wee hours of the morning. I had my first physical therapy session this past Wednesday where I learned that physical therapy will not be done too intensely until the results of my MRI are known. It was explained that further injury could result if my back was worse than the symptoms suggested. I had called my primary physician multiple times throughout the week to see if they had received the results of my MRI with no luck. I had another P.T. appointment Friday afternoon but was reluctant to go since I still didn’t know anything other than the persistent pain and weakness in my left hip, leg and foot.
My attitude in general has been sliding downhill since the injury just after Christmas. First, it’s January and I am not a big fan of the dark days of winter. Throw in the pain and frustration of not being able to push like I used to, and it was getting hard to smile and stay positive. I am happy to say that these were the wrong thoughts and I’ve been busy changing trying to change them. Positive thinking and attitude gives way to the energy that will help this and any situation. Negativity leads in the opposite direction.
I went to the P.T. appointment on Friday. I asked my physical therapist if they had received any report from my doctor’s office. She said no. But, there was a way to look and see if the hospital had completed the process of reporting. Actually, they had. She read what the doctor at the hospital had found reading the MRI images. From the description that doctor used, it sounded worse than I had hoped. I now have some things to talk to my primary physician about. I am hopeful that I can get into see him soon.
I realized even as I was talking to my P.T. person - that while this seems bleak right now, it might just be our interpretation of the reading doctors terminology. I had no visual reference to show me what the words meant. I only had those few key phrases that my physical therapist interpreted for me. She even warned me that sometimes doctors use one word as a description for many things and I really needed to talk to my doctor to get the full story.
I knew the news could be worse than I had hoped. There it was (maybe.) I also realized how fortunate I was that there’s an excellent chance that I will eventually be back to normal. There are people out there who are suffering the effects of chronic pain or have suffered strokes or other more severe injuries that may have given up hope to possibly make full recoveries.
No matter what I find out from my doctor or neurologist in the next few days or weeks, running is still a passion of mine and will continue to enthuse and inspire me to the point that after I make a full recovery and assess my situation, I fully intend to participate in the sport. I get such feeling of accomplishment (and runners high) after a long run that I still hope to wake up tomorrow and have a strong left leg so I can continue my training.
Until I know some hard facts about my situation, I will continue to hold out hope and give thanks to God for the friends and family that I have in my personal life and in running. I smile as I think about all the concern and support of my co-workers, fellow Road Warriors, DDH runners etc. The sheer number of folks who want to know how I am doing is overwhelming. I suspect that is how a real community is supposed to work.
Until I am able to join you all on the trails, streets and sidewalks for a nice smooth run, I hope that you’re all safe and healthy and enjoy your strengthening physical abilities. Maybe I’ll see you at the Y. I need to sign off now and get going to Craig’s Cruisers for my daughter’s birthday party. 4 years old tomorrow! I’m getting old. 
Happy trails!
6 Comments so far...
Shelly Says:
20 January 2008 at 9:01 pm.
Lol–I sure hope a *4* year old doesn’t make one old! Bob–hang in there–you are doing a great job keeping fit even if you can’t be out there running with us just yet. You’re still a great Warrior no matter what! I really hope your results show a quick recovery is on the way!
Deb Says:
20 January 2008 at 9:51 pm.
Bob, you continue to remain in my prayers. You are handling this setback very well. . . although I totally understand your inner frustration at not being able to run. I think the most frustrating thing is the waiting. I remember when I was waiting for my biopsy results. . . . my mind went over and over the possible results. Once I knew (and the news was not what I had hoped for) then I could figure out my next strategy. . . to deal with it in the most positive way I could. The positive energy and thoughts that you direct toward your situation are amazingly healing. Remember that the mind/body connection is extremely powerful. Positive thoughts release release positive chemicals from your brain, negative thoughts create more stress in the body. Stay strong Bob. Breathe deep. . . . hope big. . . . life is a blessing. You’ll be back with us soon!
Steve Kelly Says:
21 January 2008 at 4:39 pm.
Great attitude Bob, you’re doing everything right. I let the injury that kept me from doing the run last year get me down. That didn’t help a thing. Count your blessings like you said and we’ll see you soon like Deb said!
Terrence York Says:
21 January 2008 at 5:22 pm.
Way to have a postive attitude. We are all thinking about you.
Terry
rich flaw Says:
20 February 2008 at 8:24 pm.
Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think — Horace Walpole (1717-1797)
This is my chosen fast: to loosen all the bonds that bind men unfairly, to let the oppressed go free, to break every yoke. Share your bread with the hungry, take the homeless into your home. Clothe the naked when you see him, do not turn away from people in need. . . . If you remove from your midst the yoke of oppression, the finger of scorn and the tongue of malice, if you put yourself out for the hungry and relieve the wretched, then shall your light shine in darkness, and your gloom shall be as noonday. . . . And you shall be like a watered garden, like a never-failing spring. And you shall rebuild ancient ruins, restoring old foundations. You shall be known as the rebuilder of broken walls, the restorer of dwelling places.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself — James Thurber (1894-1961), in Edward R Murrow television interview